June 16, 2005

Dear Friends,

I am enjoying reading your very encouraging e-mails everyday. I love hearing about your life, the fact that so many of you used to watch us years ago and how the TV program changed the lives of you and your family in some way. So many of you gave your life to Christ as a result of our Christian Television program and 20 years later you are still serving the Lord. That makes MY life “not in vain”. Sometimes I sit and cry as I read, “I was sitting in front of the TV with a gun in my hand getting ready to commit suicide when somebody said, Jesus loves you just the way you are. Try Him and He will help you with your problems”. You said, “I laid down the gun, fell to my knees in front of that TV and asked God to help me. He came into my heart and as a result I am still here, serving Him today.”

Almost daily I read of a life, totally changed because you ran across a TV program that gave you a ray of hope in your troubled world, a program that said daily, ‘YOU CAN MAKE IT!” A program that said daily, “God loves you just the way you are, He really does”. A program that gave you courage to “try again”, this time with God by your side. I meet you everyday as I go out among the people. You walk up and quietly whisper in my ear, “Tammy, I want to thank you and Jim for the many years of the PTL program. I could not have made it at times if all of you had not been there.” That makes my life’s work worthwhile. And that encourages ME!

I would ask that those of you who pray would pray with me about something. Last Sunday, I was sitting in church and my Pastor said something that nearly knocked me off my pew. He said, “When God asked you to do something do you DO IT or do you say, “but God, how much is it going to cost”? He said if you ask that question of God YOU ARE IN BONDAGE! I started to cry as I recognized me. For years now God has been speaking to my heart to do a television show – to go back to my roots. I want to, more than anything in the world, but I always ask the question, “But God, how much is it going to cost? How will I ever be able to pay for production and air time, etc. etc?” Consequently I pull back feeling overwhelmed by the “the cost”. I am asking God to forgive me. I don’s want to live in bondage anymore. I have lived my whole life trusting God and believing that “with God all things are possible”. I want you to ask God to help me make the “leap of faith” that I have been so afraid of and help me to say “Yes Lord, I’ll do it”! I have done TV for 30 years. I am a pioneer of Christian television. I KNOW how to do a TV show that will help people that are hurting, that will bring joy and laughter into homes so devoid of joy, I know how to bring talented people together for your enjoyment, and I know how to teach people about life and its pitfalls. I know how to bring HOPE and HELP to a world that is changing so fast that people are getting lost in all the technical advances. I want to step out of my comfort zone and “take the chance”. Please pray for me!

People are asking me about my health. I have been off Chemo for a year and a few weeks ago I felt like I had broken my back. The pain was relentless and severe. I went for an MRI and they found a small spot of cancer (a small tumor) in my back located next to the eleventh vertebra. I went through 14 treatments of radiation, which has left me very weak and constantly sick to my stomach. Then another cat scan and pet scan revealed that the spot of cancer in my left lung which I had received Chemo for was back again and growing. So I am scheduled to start Chemo therapy again in a few weeks. I KNOW you are going to have questions about this so I will answer them before you ask them:

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June 16, 2005


1. You were cancer free for a year, why did God allow it to come back again?
I don’t know. I can only read and re-read the story of JOB in the Bible. God allowed Job to suffer untold miseries, lying in an ash heap covered in boils, terribly sick so that he prayed to die. He even asked God why he was born, God why didn’t you let me die in my mother’s womb? But God had a reason to allow Job to be tested and Job passed the test and the Bible says that after God healed Job he lived 140 more years and God doubled everything he had lost. Now I sure don’t want to live 140 more years but I would like to have a few more years on this earth to help people.

2. Has cancer coming back made you doubt God at all?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I know that what God has done once He can do again and the same faith that made me well before can make me well again.

3. Do you think you could die of this cancer?
I believe that our time on this earth was programmed before we were born. At that time our days were numbered. I don’t know how long I’m supposed to live, but I do know that if God still has work for me to do on this earth I will not die until that work is done.

4. Do you ever ask God WHY?
I do ask God why so many millions of people have this disease called cancer. No, I have never asked him, why me. I’m no different than anyone else that has it.

5. Do you still believe in miracles?
YES! YES! YES! And everyday I believe God for a Miracle! I believe we all have miracles everyday in our lives that we don’t even know about…….that car accident he might have saved us from. Why weren’t we born in a third world country instead of the USA? The food he provides us each day…….there are miracles all around us that we are not even aware of.

6. What if your cancer spread all over your body?
It’s all the same to God. Whether it’s all over your body or just in one place the miracle, the healing is the same. It just takes one touch from Him.

7. Do you ever get discouraged?
Yes, sometimes. I’ve always been such a strong person and at this time I get very tired, very sick to my stomach, and have to literally pull myself up the stairs one step at a time, utterly exhausted and breathless by the time I reach the top. Then I just cry and say the name above all names, “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, please give me strength.”



With love,





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