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June 16, 2005
Dear Friends,
I am enjoying reading your very encouraging e-mails everyday. I love
hearing about your life, the fact that so many of you used to watch
us years ago and how the TV program changed the lives of you and
your family in some way. So many of you gave your life to Christ as
a result of our Christian Television program and 20 years later you
are still serving the Lord. That makes MY life “not in vain”.
Sometimes I sit and cry as I read, “I was sitting in front of the TV
with a gun in my hand getting ready to commit suicide when somebody
said, Jesus loves you just the way you are. Try Him and He will help
you with your problems”. You said, “I laid down the gun, fell to my
knees in front of that TV and asked God to help me. He came into my
heart and as a result I am still here, serving Him today.”
Almost daily I read of a life, totally changed because you ran
across a TV program that gave you a ray of hope in your troubled
world, a program that said daily, ‘YOU CAN MAKE IT!” A program that
said daily, “God loves you just the way you are, He really does”. A
program that gave you courage to “try again”, this time with God by
your side. I meet you everyday as I go out among the people. You
walk up and quietly whisper in my ear, “Tammy, I want to thank you
and Jim for the many years of the PTL program. I could not have made
it at times if all of you had not been there.” That makes my life’s
work worthwhile. And that encourages ME!
I would ask that those of you who pray would pray with me about
something. Last Sunday, I was sitting in church and my Pastor said
something that nearly knocked me off my pew. He said, “When God
asked you to do something do you DO IT or do you say, “but God, how
much is it going to cost”? He said if you ask that question of God
YOU ARE IN BONDAGE! I started to cry as I recognized me. For years
now God has been speaking to my heart to do a television show – to
go back to my roots. I want to, more than anything in the world, but
I always ask the question, “But God, how much is it going to cost?
How will I ever be able to pay for production and air time, etc.
etc?” Consequently I pull back feeling overwhelmed by the “the
cost”. I am asking God to forgive me. I don’s want to live in
bondage anymore. I have lived my whole life trusting God and
believing that “with God all things are possible”. I want you to ask
God to help me make the “leap of faith” that I have been so afraid
of and help me to say “Yes Lord, I’ll do it”! I have done TV for 30
years. I am a pioneer of Christian television. I KNOW how to do a TV
show that will help people that are hurting, that will bring joy and
laughter into homes so devoid of joy, I know how to bring talented
people together for your enjoyment, and I know how to teach people
about life and its pitfalls. I know how to bring HOPE and HELP to a
world that is changing so fast that people are getting lost in all
the technical advances. I want to step out of my comfort zone and
“take the chance”. Please pray for me!
People are asking me about my health. I have been off Chemo for a
year and a few weeks ago I felt like I had broken my back. The pain
was relentless and severe. I went for an MRI and they found a small
spot of cancer (a small tumor) in my back located next to the
eleventh vertebra. I went through 14 treatments of radiation, which
has left me very weak and constantly sick to my stomach. Then
another cat scan and pet scan revealed that the spot of cancer in my
left lung which I had received Chemo for was back again and growing.
So I am scheduled to start Chemo therapy again in a few weeks. I
KNOW you are going to have questions about this so I will answer
them before you ask them:
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